Freedom Within

Melting mind of continuous complex
Randomly subjecting words and emotions
Finding ease and fast ways to complete a cycle...

Soon enough, many contributions will convey
Convey a pattern and system to these ramblings
One in the future may decipher and collect
A message and conclusion...

Or simply dismiss all alterations and a bounty

and yes it is true about what you think about
only need not explain your situations to those
in denial and ones that wallow in their own filth...

hard to boost this internal findings about and to others
when carefully choosing sentences for the masses
"he's gone mad" - nay - "little bit looney", I say...

which on occasion has been referred to as "Freedom Within"

Cruel Intent:

Inside of you I seek inspiration
Inside of you I meek desperation

Screams of vibrating solace
Taunt old Memories to surface

Your intentions creep Slowly
Up and through my Lowly
Haunted Heart...

Say farewells or Good riddance

Your mind was feeble when I met You
Now feeding upon emptiness without Me
Ego made me do it, good thing I wasted mine a long time ago

Comfort comes so easy when in the moment
Gigantic gaps in memory fade certainty
Now with that out of the way
I must move on, without resources
Why must I remain, when numb of self destruction

Give this three, and a last verse
A gentle bow, and simple curve of motion
Tip of the hat, signals retreat...

Dream revisited:

in the snow we leave our tracks, I chase You and You giggle
in the snow we leave our history, I submit and You squiggle
out of my embrace, higher and higher you rise out of reach
and I continue to chase, without haste

Up to the stars you float away, and step by step I step
Suddenly on top a roller coaster we sit, roller coaster is made of candy canes and wheels of life savers, with a huge blast, down we go, very slow we stop, and I turn to touch your neck to give a peck

to be continued...

scramble words

scramble words with intent of getting it across
a point that will make You see
what You left lying on the side
over, more references will soon create that one
Soon, I feel You closer every day
Ringing my brain, without reasonable consequence
only we choose to tease each other with absence...

hold my heart

surrounded by a bliss, hold my heart
place upon Yours
surrounded by a kiss, hold my art
rolling of my mind...

down we spiral

down we spiral, tumble and laugh
instant happy buzz memory
down we tumble, laugh and spiral
out of control...

mixed feeling

such a mixed feeling this be
when options are open and choices
collapse upon missed opportunities

redundant loops make for frantic fantasies
redundant loops make for frantic fantasies
redundant loops make for frantic fantasies

confusion is what I gave You
You have no choice but to contemplate my intentions
Giving up was easy, making no sense defends

Go ahead and dismiss, pass on, and focus elsewhere
No intention of submitting to your exceptions...

random memory #173:

on a midnight drive, we park along the side of the road, as our destination is only reachable on foot. hand in hand we walk through trees and grass up to our knees. up hills and rocks and things that crack. only armed with lighters and moonlight, we finally reach the spot. lay our blankets and bodies. as we wait and wait, soon our presence is known and company soon arrives. one whistles, two whistles maybe three. enough to grab their attention. we gaze upon oceans in the sky and waves crashing with greens and blues. as quickly they come, quickly they go. enough to feed our desire and spark our fire. we lay silently in still night for we need not speak, our actions are enough...

At Last:

Your hair ripples in waves
You call out in caves

I await at the other end
Assuring you my friend

As we connect, our lust
Undeniable will thrust

Soon our searching is over...

Little bit Darker? No?

To make matters worse
As I drag "you" from that Hearse

Bits and Pieces, left all alone
such a Vagrant drone
Come from our Hearts...

Deep within
We spin
Out of Control

Emotional dysthymia
Cured by a Breathing Kiss
delivers an utmost Bliss

but as "you" can see
that can not be

My dear Corpse...

How you Feeling?

Tell me how "You" really Feel
And I will Peel
the Layers of regret
from your Subset...

Ponder along
Wonder along
or merely tag
You are it...

Such a simple Game
it is all the same
when it comes to blame
it is all the same

Pickle...

And now that, that wrench
is thrown
And "You" fall from your throne
welcome to below
from that pillar "You" once stood...

On and On, I could go
with this one man show
But alas, the contents of my cranium default

But wait there is more


to be continued...

Try to Figure out

When Hours
Turn Sour
and Power
to Create Cease

One glance
turns my Trance
turns my Fixation
into Strangulation...

 Care not to Follow
For You may wallow
all you want, while waiting
for an explanation...

Downward

If I dive too Dark
without a Remark
will You still be...

Be the One
who shall come undone
and Collapse...

Piece by Piece
slowly I Capture
Your Rapture...

Only to Find
Your Mind
is a Torture I can not Bare
or Spare...

Random Memory: Alone at Last

Such a sweet little thing, not a heavyweight in the alcohol consumption department. But those eyes could drink anyone under the table. Jet black hair past the shoulders, soon to be in a ponytail. Sitting and sipping in the corner talking about nothing in particular. My interests and your interests are exchanged as to try to keep the conversation going. Awkward silence, soon ends as we begin to speak at the same time. "No you go first" I said, as I try to listen, but Cypress Hill be too loud, and she notices. So without hesitation she grabs my hand and leads us to a more quiet area of the house party. Weaving and waving to those in our path, soon we reach our destination. Alone at last, was your intent, that you reveal in my ear. As we start to make a connection, your inner ability to hold the contents of your "belly" soon makes its appearance. Now if only I could have seen your expression and feelings, in that dark room, as I lay there with your excretions on my chest. Not sure if your immediate dash to the bathroom was from embarrassment or the need to pray to the porcelain god. I dust myself off and get up to check on you. Now this is the vision that is engraved in my mind. As I open the door, your eyes are tear filled and devastated as you look at me. I gently pull your hair back and put it in a ponytail from the elastic that was in my hair. Give you some water and rub your back. I only said I wouldn't tell anyone, I never promised...

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Random Memory: Double Trouble

Alone we sat, in my coloured room, with signatures of those who visited,
red heart shaped trophies from a high school game, taped randomly between poetry and flowers. Incense here and one over there. "where is my mind?" playing over and over on my mixed tape. Knock Knock, echoes on the downstairs side door, I hesitantly remove myself, to see who would be knocking this late. To my surprise, it is the one that should not have been, not now. While one waits up, and one questions me down. In the middle I ponder, ponder how one should handle the situation. But to my amazement, later my amusement. The one below, has come to let me know that our "situational relationship" is not operational (who actually says that?, she came to dump me). No matter, even though one would think that since we have not talked in weeks, that our "situational relationship" was indeed ended...
Right, you ask, what about the one above. Well, seems the walls in that old house are not the best of being a sound barrier. For she obviously heard our conversation. That and the look on her face when I returned. Also the fact that she threw my mixed tape at me.
So there I lay, without my "pixies", without my significant other. Only thing I have left is the memory and ammunition to write about it, so many years later...

Fair Game

Was warned, and scorned
Battled and Bruised
yet Still I Cruised

Into your Arms,
Into your Thorns,
Blindly...

Still I Stand
without Demand
Regrets...

One Last time
Just to be sure
I need no cure
Relinquish...

Your Scent

Night after Night
In hopes of Your Return
Can not remember what I have forgotten
Your Scent, brings it all Crashing back
for Lack
of better words...

Waiting for Another

On a "Bench" I sit, looking out at the river flow
something does not feel right, and I soon will know

Suddenly I feel hands upon my eyes, "Guess who?"

My answer is wrong, but to my surprise
It is a long time Friend, of unmeasurable size

In the back of my mind, I wonder where is my intended
Old Friend occupies my time, as time passes splendid
Thoughts derail my concentration, and Old Friend takes notice
For she cuts the conversation short, and I feel hapless

Hours pass, and still no sight, which gives a fright
Setting sun, soon turns to night, with street light
Alas my time is up, as I turn to go
I see a shadowy figure mow

the path of grass, across the way
the path of another
"Bench"...

The one Red head

In the early morning,
As I sit on the top step, and You stand below
Looking up at Me
I ask for you to come closer,
As that was your intention...

The look on your Face
Questions my Existence,
The smiles we exchange
Lead us only to the inevitable...

Such curls and pearls hang
as the Sun shines through
Your fiery hair
Can not help, but stare...

Strong emotions have made this memory last
Now in words, may it last forever...