For Nothing more than a Memory

No matter how much an intention be

Your presence fades easily as it came

I will conclude without denial and sacrifice

Now continue to bleed and creed your stand

With all this turmoil and confusion

You retreat and deny

Too bent out of shape to give a concept of reality

"I am too confused to make up my mind"

All too eager to mend your ways of dealing

Better to dismiss than deal, easy way out

Only to bring you back to the battle of

existence...

Consume will they say

For yet I shall see

And delight in your mind

Rip and tear any and all beliefs far beyond your comprehension

disgusting...

   

Red the red that fury blinds

Your presence seems to press my buttons

And my buttons be high

My presence seems to press your buttons

And your buttons be nigh

And so now are you suppose to be considered my ex

Since only for a bit we tangled and mangled our words

On a couch we cuddled and giggled about our success

Only to have it fade within days

Now we hold each other at length

Such a short bout it was and fast to conclude

So it was, what is was

A sparkle and flame, rose too high

And out of control, for both of us

Another story to keep and to use against

our "I told you so" mentality

But we did

"destroyed each other, and did not make history"...

random memory #814:

night started out dragging, each group car hopping and making plans that go no where. suddenly unexpected opportunity knocks gently on my window.
"hey, what you guys up to?"
"nothing, you?"
"probably head to _____'s house"
"cool"
" yeah, you wanna come along?"
"sure, we will follow..."

- such a trio of friends, matched with a trio of potentials, while the 6 of us consume jack and breezers
- picking straws and dibs, soon becomes obsolete, as our female counterparts have their own intentions
- the night and consumables soon fade and our matches make their presence
- each couple heads in their own direction
- in a dark light room, the touch of goose bumps collide
- sounds of heavy breathing and moans fill the hallways
- whilst only a certain version be present within my grasp, I shall conclude with that destination


eddie's black on the tape
in a grey mustang
sun coming up over the trees
windows rolled down to get the cool morning air in
3 buddies quietly contemplate
contemplate the events of the mornings endeavours


to a city that resides over the bridge...

Not my Car...

With a glance, I vision the past in which we first met

Your mind is already made, with your own first look

Soon to be overturned with the conversational array of banter

and a look that makes you confused and curious

as I raise my head back over the table

On a couch, in a house, on a street, on the east side

we continue to battle our beliefs and bruises

And in a test of my interest, you leave

And stubborn as I am, retreat to the next opponent

Much more and less, we eventually rebound

Only your need is far more exceeded than mine

For now your ease is calmed with my presence

Yet you continue to throw hoops for me to jump through

And I little by little embrace your tactics

And break your concentration

And resolve your intentions

At the request of the time and limits set upon the party

We exit the premises and conclude to our modes of transportations

As I in the state of my consumption

Am not allowed to pursue my course

For your judgement is not whether I am capable

But for your own lingering temptations

I am convinced to enter an agreement with your direction

While others are not invited, we now alone

At your request

Long distance to get back to our starting point

And so our chance to revive the night is conquered

Assumptions are smoothed out and explained

Yet we hold back our intentions

After all the obstacles of the night

We end up in the parking lot of the place that started it all

Lies upon lies are spewed from our mouths

Yet you still believe me, only for your own amusement

You smirk and giggle at my nervousness

and awkward stance, as I question your motives

Your clear of your stance and make it so

You withhold your actions, in fear of consequences

As I do not give you what you wanted, you insist

As I give you what you insist, you overcome

As I resist you, you resist

And we end up on our own path...

to be continued for our next encounter...

Unspoken with those Walls

As we sit in a room, not a word spoken

emotional drips of tears, fade into the cloth

Your intentions are folded and creased with deceitful mutations

Now time passes, and creates a void within your existence

I shall pull every pain and gain within that pulsating gutter of whole

And without further notice and unsuspecting visuals claim your position

As I plant the seed of doubt, and watch it rapidly carousel through your thoughts

Little by little, leaving a trail of membranes of mortality soon to decay...

Liimited

Your references only conclude your actions
for which you are limited
Relate this to the most and all of your intentions

Restricted and subdued to eventually exhausted permutations of thought.
Now question every thought and motive you would have given as a consequence.

Such feeble illusional creatures of creation, I speak of those low on the self worth
Speak of fear as an excuse to explain your actions or non actions thereof...

Sacrifice and Sustain those wishes, take them to the grave and bury them alive.
Blink and gone are your existences of thought patterns.

Now to gently caress that little lope and

Mental Stimulation

Such a battle to break those walls

Even when broken, victory seems bleak

For the treasure is not what was intended

Or give in to the next available with no standards

Seems like a likely route to avoid pain

Weakness You display, not a position on the podium 

Craving Mental Stimulation

For which one can not find

Easy enough task, but with a gesture of grotesque

to perceive one as a notable neglect

To constipated with emotional scars to express yourself

Or willing to let your potential position exceed with advance

Seek

Furiously Frustrated

for

Mental Stimulation

...

Alone At Least

For ever and more, I shall smother your intentions
Not a chance to rethink and collect the pieces
I Deity your emotional bleeds
Caress and surge ample amounts of scars

Build You up to watch you float down to my existence
Bombard Your reactions with counters and deflections
Never cease to increase my arousal
The One poison injection, be boredom, that play thing in the bottom of the pile
Such a mass of toys collected through the Years of precise Deceptions
One must keep track of the nuances and truancies lead out of your Heart

Now then, will that outbound for confusion
I must entrain a trail of suspicion, for some where along this jaded path
For which You carried me, without even a sliver of conscious consequences

Of course You wanted it All,
And with a Flick of chosen Fingers
Beckon balloons pop, as You come tumbling after

Alone at Least
Until I Allow...

When absence times out

Only stay afar, to see when You may depart

The longer the wait, the longer the freight

upon my guilt...

On a bridge You sit shapeshifted and wait

while I stare from a distance

My feet cemented, my mind Demented

of thoughts for you...

...

Side to side you gaze in search

of My pupils that surround a glow green

Slowly and hesitantly you leave

Looking back over shoulder one last time

My reason, for such an act

would be to save You the sorrow of my ways

Your innocence, is what saved you

on that leaf dropping evening

As deviant my heart

somehow, some reason declared

a pinch of pain, was worth it...

Reasons to Keep You Longer...

in early morning

as you sleep

I stare at your face

and wonder why me

I blow at your nose

and you twitch

I tug at your lip

and you awake and smile

You asked me, "what are you doin?"

I say "Enjoying the moment..."

As you turn over

and fall back asleep

I reset the clock

For reasons to keep

You longer...

Only time for you is Precious

And for me to be at Fault

For now

All I have left is your anger

towards me,

- My only intent -

For reasons to keep

You longer...

Worse Together

the greatest attempt we made

was to mend our ways

yet we feed on our destruction

better apart, worse together...

if fate and faith had their way

and words spoken on that day

we would have sealed our peace...

A Trail

Such a trail I leave for You
Catch me if you can
Scream more and struggle to win

Alas it has come this confrontational fit
Lay down this gauntlet and watch You
Sleeplessly stray sideways...

Sure I would rain pain upon Your heart
And Crush your spine with ease
But nothing more pleasurable than planting the seed of doubt
and watch You question your own existence...

Worst enemy is within, and this is a test
relate all these words, try to match them to You
Rise Your interest and begin contesting your beliefs
Challenge and Reason with yourself...

Give it all thought and come out numb

The more you convince Yourself, the deeper the hole
The Hole which will consume
Your opinion...

Freedom Within

Melting mind of continuous complex
Randomly subjecting words and emotions
Finding ease and fast ways to complete a cycle...

Soon enough, many contributions will convey
Convey a pattern and system to these ramblings
One in the future may decipher and collect
A message and conclusion...

Or simply dismiss all alterations and a bounty

and yes it is true about what you think about
only need not explain your situations to those
in denial and ones that wallow in their own filth...

hard to boost this internal findings about and to others
when carefully choosing sentences for the masses
"he's gone mad" - nay - "little bit looney", I say...

which on occasion has been referred to as "Freedom Within"

Say farewells or Good riddance

Your mind was feeble when I met You
Now feeding upon emptiness without Me
Ego made me do it, good thing I wasted mine a long time ago

Comfort comes so easy when in the moment
Gigantic gaps in memory fade certainty
Now with that out of the way
I must move on, without resources
Why must I remain, when numb of self destruction

Give this three, and a last verse
A gentle bow, and simple curve of motion
Tip of the hat, signals retreat...

scramble words

scramble words with intent of getting it across
a point that will make You see
what You left lying on the side
over, more references will soon create that one
Soon, I feel You closer every day
Ringing my brain, without reasonable consequence
only we choose to tease each other with absence...

Little bit Darker? No?

To make matters worse
As I drag "you" from that Hearse

Bits and Pieces, left all alone
such a Vagrant drone
Come from our Hearts...

Deep within
We spin
Out of Control

Emotional dysthymia
Cured by a Breathing Kiss
delivers an utmost Bliss

but as "you" can see
that can not be

My dear Corpse...