Non Existing

You do not exist

For I have not created you yet...

If I would want

You could cure

So many have come close,

only to fail miserably

at the demands of my dementia...

With a multitude of thoughts

And a series of trails

One must recycle endlessly

You...

random memory #814:

night started out dragging, each group car hopping and making plans that go no where. suddenly unexpected opportunity knocks gently on my window.
"hey, what you guys up to?"
"nothing, you?"
"probably head to _____'s house"
"cool"
" yeah, you wanna come along?"
"sure, we will follow..."

- such a trio of friends, matched with a trio of potentials, while the 6 of us consume jack and breezers
- picking straws and dibs, soon becomes obsolete, as our female counterparts have their own intentions
- the night and consumables soon fade and our matches make their presence
- each couple heads in their own direction
- in a dark light room, the touch of goose bumps collide
- sounds of heavy breathing and moans fill the hallways
- whilst only a certain version be present within my grasp, I shall conclude with that destination


eddie's black on the tape
in a grey mustang
sun coming up over the trees
windows rolled down to get the cool morning air in
3 buddies quietly contemplate
contemplate the events of the mornings endeavours


to a city that resides over the bridge...

Room Full of Dresses

Thrown into a room, to make us communicate

Your attempt to make small talk is executed with nervousness

And I calm your chills with a warm hand upon your thigh

As the power goes out and we sit in the dark

I feel your hand poke my face and lips

Trying to get a grasp of where I am

I pull your hand and body closer to mine

And just as we are about to connect the power comes on

Sending a jolt and sudden fright throughout your spine

Whether it was timed or not, it gave us a story to remember...

Pile Up

And alas, these thoughts have been piling up in this cranium of mine.
Seems they will either destroy my intentions or have forced themselves into this outlet.

Now on with the show:
first and foremost, would like to thank the many instances that have presented themselves with great accuracy and pin point deliberation.

No matter how hard I try, these misleading and totally understanding only within my membranes,  will break out and cling onto anything willing to give my shallow existence the time of day. Which of course only feeds my insatiable overthinking. 

I actually dislike to explain my explanations, seems only to dig a deeper hole in which many find their desires and fetishes. Sure I could just give them simple words and simple instructions. But that would seem to easy and almost deviant on my part.

Many more words to greet those wishing to find a concept or excuse to label the participate invalid.

Come, come and seek that missing piece. or better yet, sit on that side of the fence and throw projectiles of doubt and misery. for we all know, well not all, but most with the ability to see past their past.

Start, middle, end, give a clear path for to follow, make sense, or I shall enter the state of confusion.

Until next time...

Such Ease

On tip of your finger, my intention is calculated
A little glance my way, my creation is manipulated
And deep within goes my deviance dies...

Such scorned your smile
While I before You
Such screams within
While I after You
Never in between where bliss should boil...

Now
crumble my coward
stumble my rumble
all for that sea of treason
and wine devour...

Passion of Past

The blondes that be

Always showed me

What should not see

Under violent season

Without a Reason

Avoidance and Obsolete

Removal at its Finest...

Company of Creatures

If I let you, You would consume me

As I would consume you with out a doubt

Seems familiar this situation

The situation in which smalls words and phrases mean nothing

Counterfeit your Conclusions

For I know, as I made your expenses

Back and forth with meaningless dribble and hopes of saying something worthy

Gather together, your Covenant can crumble

Give it more thought, and You may see

Those intents forge greater wisdom

For blue collar and cupid instruments of

Fear and Fire...

Alone At Least

For ever and more, I shall smother your intentions
Not a chance to rethink and collect the pieces
I Deity your emotional bleeds
Caress and surge ample amounts of scars

Build You up to watch you float down to my existence
Bombard Your reactions with counters and deflections
Never cease to increase my arousal
The One poison injection, be boredom, that play thing in the bottom of the pile
Such a mass of toys collected through the Years of precise Deceptions
One must keep track of the nuances and truancies lead out of your Heart

Now then, will that outbound for confusion
I must entrain a trail of suspicion, for some where along this jaded path
For which You carried me, without even a sliver of conscious consequences

Of course You wanted it All,
And with a Flick of chosen Fingers
Beckon balloons pop, as You come tumbling after

Alone at Least
Until I Allow...

Melt Within

in the tall grass we lay

NOT looking at the above

for the reflection in each other's eyes

shines brighter than the real...

Breeze causes you to sneeze

and make the face that

melts me within...

Strong Scent

I smelt a smell that forced my memory into overdrive, today
Never has a memory been so strong
All my tingles and relapses on my spot...

How the way I thought as a child, and now to look back on those thoughts
Become increasingly both redundant and surprisingly superseding
Of the state in which I have conceived and concluded

To sit and strike a conversation  with my former self
Would cause irrelevant circumstances, as both collide with opinions
And most importantly, both would prove the impossible

As I often thought about myself in the future, now I am here
And remind myself of when and where I was...

A note to another Future, and one to Look back on this occasion


to be continued, for reference of looking back again...

Such weakness for Your Presence

shhh, you whisper in my ear, to calm my mood
for
You know my intentions and reactions more so than I could ever know
my Potential is exponential in your presence
Your embrace and touch chills my devious thoughts
rampant and racing my emotions spin out of control
but with a simple glance of your smile
makes it conclude and seclude...

This all comes most when needed, as a fresh awakening
Makes me feel its all worth the wait and struggle of doubt within

The power over my chances, are given without hesitation or contemplation
The circumstances will and will always be for my benefit
and most of all, like many times before, I without a doubt
give in and reveal my weakness
to your affections...

Growl and Post

Growl and Post
for which I have found
Not my situation, but can relate with little significance
A vision of your screaming and tears
Fills the hardest heart with pain and regret

Life moves you forward and leaves a hole
Life is created as a result...

Such beauty and talent combined, and combined would
With the thought of how those two would
have been...

Almost there

I shall trigger an Avalanche of words upon You
Only to watch You crumble relentlessly for more
We never did settle the score...

My hand out stretched, reaching for You
Only to watch You stumble carelessly for the door
We never will dream no more...

My last reason to treason Your wrath
Will be our longest Path
gone...

A Trail

Such a trail I leave for You
Catch me if you can
Scream more and struggle to win

Alas it has come this confrontational fit
Lay down this gauntlet and watch You
Sleeplessly stray sideways...

Sure I would rain pain upon Your heart
And Crush your spine with ease
But nothing more pleasurable than planting the seed of doubt
and watch You question your own existence...

Worst enemy is within, and this is a test
relate all these words, try to match them to You
Rise Your interest and begin contesting your beliefs
Challenge and Reason with yourself...

Give it all thought and come out numb

The more you convince Yourself, the deeper the hole
The Hole which will consume
Your opinion...

Freedom Within

Melting mind of continuous complex
Randomly subjecting words and emotions
Finding ease and fast ways to complete a cycle...

Soon enough, many contributions will convey
Convey a pattern and system to these ramblings
One in the future may decipher and collect
A message and conclusion...

Or simply dismiss all alterations and a bounty

and yes it is true about what you think about
only need not explain your situations to those
in denial and ones that wallow in their own filth...

hard to boost this internal findings about and to others
when carefully choosing sentences for the masses
"he's gone mad" - nay - "little bit looney", I say...

which on occasion has been referred to as "Freedom Within"

Cruel Intent:

Inside of you I seek inspiration
Inside of you I meek desperation

Screams of vibrating solace
Taunt old Memories to surface

Your intentions creep Slowly
Up and through my Lowly
Haunted Heart...

Say farewells or Good riddance

Your mind was feeble when I met You
Now feeding upon emptiness without Me
Ego made me do it, good thing I wasted mine a long time ago

Comfort comes so easy when in the moment
Gigantic gaps in memory fade certainty
Now with that out of the way
I must move on, without resources
Why must I remain, when numb of self destruction

Give this three, and a last verse
A gentle bow, and simple curve of motion
Tip of the hat, signals retreat...

Dream revisited:

in the snow we leave our tracks, I chase You and You giggle
in the snow we leave our history, I submit and You squiggle
out of my embrace, higher and higher you rise out of reach
and I continue to chase, without haste

Up to the stars you float away, and step by step I step
Suddenly on top a roller coaster we sit, roller coaster is made of candy canes and wheels of life savers, with a huge blast, down we go, very slow we stop, and I turn to touch your neck to give a peck

to be continued...

scramble words

scramble words with intent of getting it across
a point that will make You see
what You left lying on the side
over, more references will soon create that one
Soon, I feel You closer every day
Ringing my brain, without reasonable consequence
only we choose to tease each other with absence...

hold my heart

surrounded by a bliss, hold my heart
place upon Yours
surrounded by a kiss, hold my art
rolling of my mind...