Undefiled

The time we had together
was prohibited in the eyes of another
For you knew it and so did I
And that did nothing to stop
Our methods to create memories

Your laughter melted my mind
and filled it with a ringing sensation
Unlike anything heard, and tireless
Even now as I recall, it bursts loud and clear

As our time was short, I have to remind myself
That it was for the better
For if I am who I am, it would have ended in my usual ways
And for that, I will have those memories
pure...

Non Existing

You do not exist

For I have not created you yet...

If I would want

You could cure

So many have come close,

only to fail miserably

at the demands of my dementia...

With a multitude of thoughts

And a series of trails

One must recycle endlessly

You...

For Nothing more than a Memory

No matter how much an intention be

Your presence fades easily as it came

I will conclude without denial and sacrifice

Now continue to bleed and creed your stand

With all this turmoil and confusion

You retreat and deny

Too bent out of shape to give a concept of reality

"I am too confused to make up my mind"

All too eager to mend your ways of dealing

Better to dismiss than deal, easy way out

Only to bring you back to the battle of

existence...

Consume will they say

For yet I shall see

And delight in your mind

Rip and tear any and all beliefs far beyond your comprehension

disgusting...

   

Another moment

No I shall not give into your style

I am not here to amuse your adolescent ignorance and shallow opinions

Build up your walls as I have already crushed everyone with experience and repetition
Yet you continue to believe without consequences...

Bitter? No bitter than the scorned which could not hold a thought

Would not know happiness if it crept into every orifice of your mentality

Well the "one" does not exist for the reason of your infinite demands and limitations
Shall never find, as it was never was...

Such easy it is to not attempt or ignore
And wonder why your empty is never filled...

But most convincing of the lot
Is the ones that actually have no clue
Yet continue to dismiss the confusion
Only to be confronted with blatant excuses
Which of course only fuels your vicious cycle

Ah, such delight it is to generalize
Gets the hairs raised and self infecting giggles...

Red the red that fury blinds

Your presence seems to press my buttons

And my buttons be high

My presence seems to press your buttons

And your buttons be nigh

And so now are you suppose to be considered my ex

Since only for a bit we tangled and mangled our words

On a couch we cuddled and giggled about our success

Only to have it fade within days

Now we hold each other at length

Such a short bout it was and fast to conclude

So it was, what is was

A sparkle and flame, rose too high

And out of control, for both of us

Another story to keep and to use against

our "I told you so" mentality

But we did

"destroyed each other, and did not make history"...

random memory #814:

night started out dragging, each group car hopping and making plans that go no where. suddenly unexpected opportunity knocks gently on my window.
"hey, what you guys up to?"
"nothing, you?"
"probably head to _____'s house"
"cool"
" yeah, you wanna come along?"
"sure, we will follow..."

- such a trio of friends, matched with a trio of potentials, while the 6 of us consume jack and breezers
- picking straws and dibs, soon becomes obsolete, as our female counterparts have their own intentions
- the night and consumables soon fade and our matches make their presence
- each couple heads in their own direction
- in a dark light room, the touch of goose bumps collide
- sounds of heavy breathing and moans fill the hallways
- whilst only a certain version be present within my grasp, I shall conclude with that destination


eddie's black on the tape
in a grey mustang
sun coming up over the trees
windows rolled down to get the cool morning air in
3 buddies quietly contemplate
contemplate the events of the mornings endeavours


to a city that resides over the bridge...

Room Full of Dresses

Thrown into a room, to make us communicate

Your attempt to make small talk is executed with nervousness

And I calm your chills with a warm hand upon your thigh

As the power goes out and we sit in the dark

I feel your hand poke my face and lips

Trying to get a grasp of where I am

I pull your hand and body closer to mine

And just as we are about to connect the power comes on

Sending a jolt and sudden fright throughout your spine

Whether it was timed or not, it gave us a story to remember...

Not my Car...

With a glance, I vision the past in which we first met

Your mind is already made, with your own first look

Soon to be overturned with the conversational array of banter

and a look that makes you confused and curious

as I raise my head back over the table

On a couch, in a house, on a street, on the east side

we continue to battle our beliefs and bruises

And in a test of my interest, you leave

And stubborn as I am, retreat to the next opponent

Much more and less, we eventually rebound

Only your need is far more exceeded than mine

For now your ease is calmed with my presence

Yet you continue to throw hoops for me to jump through

And I little by little embrace your tactics

And break your concentration

And resolve your intentions

At the request of the time and limits set upon the party

We exit the premises and conclude to our modes of transportations

As I in the state of my consumption

Am not allowed to pursue my course

For your judgement is not whether I am capable

But for your own lingering temptations

I am convinced to enter an agreement with your direction

While others are not invited, we now alone

At your request

Long distance to get back to our starting point

And so our chance to revive the night is conquered

Assumptions are smoothed out and explained

Yet we hold back our intentions

After all the obstacles of the night

We end up in the parking lot of the place that started it all

Lies upon lies are spewed from our mouths

Yet you still believe me, only for your own amusement

You smirk and giggle at my nervousness

and awkward stance, as I question your motives

Your clear of your stance and make it so

You withhold your actions, in fear of consequences

As I do not give you what you wanted, you insist

As I give you what you insist, you overcome

As I resist you, you resist

And we end up on our own path...

to be continued for our next encounter...

Ramble Take One

Looking around the crowd, all unfamiliar faces, enjoying the company of their counterparts.
Laughter and smiles, makes one enjoy its own solace.
And from out of the crowd, comes one with smiles and sparkles in her eyes.
Must wonder the mind frame this one has, to justify the possibility of an encounter.
How one views their own identity amuses many, and may also be considered a curse for consideration.

Hide behind some mask and pretend to ignore the possibility that truth is but a deception.

All memories from now on, will be considered bliss, for if your presence in them caused any distress according to new principles, shall be void and forgotten.

Unspoken with those Walls

As we sit in a room, not a word spoken

emotional drips of tears, fade into the cloth

Your intentions are folded and creased with deceitful mutations

Now time passes, and creates a void within your existence

I shall pull every pain and gain within that pulsating gutter of whole

And without further notice and unsuspecting visuals claim your position

As I plant the seed of doubt, and watch it rapidly carousel through your thoughts

Little by little, leaving a trail of membranes of mortality soon to decay...

Liimited

Your references only conclude your actions
for which you are limited
Relate this to the most and all of your intentions

Restricted and subdued to eventually exhausted permutations of thought.
Now question every thought and motive you would have given as a consequence.

Such feeble illusional creatures of creation, I speak of those low on the self worth
Speak of fear as an excuse to explain your actions or non actions thereof...

Sacrifice and Sustain those wishes, take them to the grave and bury them alive.
Blink and gone are your existences of thought patterns.

Now to gently caress that little lope and

Pile Up

And alas, these thoughts have been piling up in this cranium of mine.
Seems they will either destroy my intentions or have forced themselves into this outlet.

Now on with the show:
first and foremost, would like to thank the many instances that have presented themselves with great accuracy and pin point deliberation.

No matter how hard I try, these misleading and totally understanding only within my membranes,  will break out and cling onto anything willing to give my shallow existence the time of day. Which of course only feeds my insatiable overthinking. 

I actually dislike to explain my explanations, seems only to dig a deeper hole in which many find their desires and fetishes. Sure I could just give them simple words and simple instructions. But that would seem to easy and almost deviant on my part.

Many more words to greet those wishing to find a concept or excuse to label the participate invalid.

Come, come and seek that missing piece. or better yet, sit on that side of the fence and throw projectiles of doubt and misery. for we all know, well not all, but most with the ability to see past their past.

Start, middle, end, give a clear path for to follow, make sense, or I shall enter the state of confusion.

Until next time...

Soon my Victory

Half way on this tightened Rope

and the Feeling is Mute

Sweet and Spleen upfront and Forward

Now on this trip to Erica

Will be only hint and nods

Given the more and riddles a clue

Backlash and revenge causes those not mentioned

And those named not within the parameters

Will turn and fade my memory and forget me not

Chosen one must in order to complete

Tears of victory when and will drench

My crush, my reason, my creation...

Such Ease

On tip of your finger, my intention is calculated
A little glance my way, my creation is manipulated
And deep within goes my deviance dies...

Such scorned your smile
While I before You
Such screams within
While I after You
Never in between where bliss should boil...

Now
crumble my coward
stumble my rumble
all for that sea of treason
and wine devour...

Passion of Past

The blondes that be

Always showed me

What should not see

Under violent season

Without a Reason

Avoidance and Obsolete

Removal at its Finest...

Mental Stimulation

Such a battle to break those walls

Even when broken, victory seems bleak

For the treasure is not what was intended

Or give in to the next available with no standards

Seems like a likely route to avoid pain

Weakness You display, not a position on the podium 

Craving Mental Stimulation

For which one can not find

Easy enough task, but with a gesture of grotesque

to perceive one as a notable neglect

To constipated with emotional scars to express yourself

Or willing to let your potential position exceed with advance

Seek

Furiously Frustrated

for

Mental Stimulation

...

Company of Creatures

If I let you, You would consume me

As I would consume you with out a doubt

Seems familiar this situation

The situation in which smalls words and phrases mean nothing

Counterfeit your Conclusions

For I know, as I made your expenses

Back and forth with meaningless dribble and hopes of saying something worthy

Gather together, your Covenant can crumble

Give it more thought, and You may see

Those intents forge greater wisdom

For blue collar and cupid instruments of

Fear and Fire...

Alone At Least

For ever and more, I shall smother your intentions
Not a chance to rethink and collect the pieces
I Deity your emotional bleeds
Caress and surge ample amounts of scars

Build You up to watch you float down to my existence
Bombard Your reactions with counters and deflections
Never cease to increase my arousal
The One poison injection, be boredom, that play thing in the bottom of the pile
Such a mass of toys collected through the Years of precise Deceptions
One must keep track of the nuances and truancies lead out of your Heart

Now then, will that outbound for confusion
I must entrain a trail of suspicion, for some where along this jaded path
For which You carried me, without even a sliver of conscious consequences

Of course You wanted it All,
And with a Flick of chosen Fingers
Beckon balloons pop, as You come tumbling after

Alone at Least
Until I Allow...

When absence times out

Only stay afar, to see when You may depart

The longer the wait, the longer the freight

upon my guilt...

On a bridge You sit shapeshifted and wait

while I stare from a distance

My feet cemented, my mind Demented

of thoughts for you...

...

Side to side you gaze in search

of My pupils that surround a glow green

Slowly and hesitantly you leave

Looking back over shoulder one last time

My reason, for such an act

would be to save You the sorrow of my ways

Your innocence, is what saved you

on that leaf dropping evening

As deviant my heart

somehow, some reason declared

a pinch of pain, was worth it...

Reasons to Keep You Longer...

in early morning

as you sleep

I stare at your face

and wonder why me

I blow at your nose

and you twitch

I tug at your lip

and you awake and smile

You asked me, "what are you doin?"

I say "Enjoying the moment..."

As you turn over

and fall back asleep

I reset the clock

For reasons to keep

You longer...

Only time for you is Precious

And for me to be at Fault

For now

All I have left is your anger

towards me,

- My only intent -

For reasons to keep

You longer...