Undefiled

The time we had together
was prohibited in the eyes of another
For you knew it and so did I
And that did nothing to stop
Our methods to create memories

Your laughter melted my mind
and filled it with a ringing sensation
Unlike anything heard, and tireless
Even now as I recall, it bursts loud and clear

As our time was short, I have to remind myself
That it was for the better
For if I am who I am, it would have ended in my usual ways
And for that, I will have those memories
pure...

random memory #814:

night started out dragging, each group car hopping and making plans that go no where. suddenly unexpected opportunity knocks gently on my window.
"hey, what you guys up to?"
"nothing, you?"
"probably head to _____'s house"
"cool"
" yeah, you wanna come along?"
"sure, we will follow..."

- such a trio of friends, matched with a trio of potentials, while the 6 of us consume jack and breezers
- picking straws and dibs, soon becomes obsolete, as our female counterparts have their own intentions
- the night and consumables soon fade and our matches make their presence
- each couple heads in their own direction
- in a dark light room, the touch of goose bumps collide
- sounds of heavy breathing and moans fill the hallways
- whilst only a certain version be present within my grasp, I shall conclude with that destination


eddie's black on the tape
in a grey mustang
sun coming up over the trees
windows rolled down to get the cool morning air in
3 buddies quietly contemplate
contemplate the events of the mornings endeavours


to a city that resides over the bridge...

Room Full of Dresses

Thrown into a room, to make us communicate

Your attempt to make small talk is executed with nervousness

And I calm your chills with a warm hand upon your thigh

As the power goes out and we sit in the dark

I feel your hand poke my face and lips

Trying to get a grasp of where I am

I pull your hand and body closer to mine

And just as we are about to connect the power comes on

Sending a jolt and sudden fright throughout your spine

Whether it was timed or not, it gave us a story to remember...

Such Ease

On tip of your finger, my intention is calculated
A little glance my way, my creation is manipulated
And deep within goes my deviance dies...

Such scorned your smile
While I before You
Such screams within
While I after You
Never in between where bliss should boil...

Now
crumble my coward
stumble my rumble
all for that sea of treason
and wine devour...

Mental Stimulation

Such a battle to break those walls

Even when broken, victory seems bleak

For the treasure is not what was intended

Or give in to the next available with no standards

Seems like a likely route to avoid pain

Weakness You display, not a position on the podium 

Craving Mental Stimulation

For which one can not find

Easy enough task, but with a gesture of grotesque

to perceive one as a notable neglect

To constipated with emotional scars to express yourself

Or willing to let your potential position exceed with advance

Seek

Furiously Frustrated

for

Mental Stimulation

...

Alone At Least

For ever and more, I shall smother your intentions
Not a chance to rethink and collect the pieces
I Deity your emotional bleeds
Caress and surge ample amounts of scars

Build You up to watch you float down to my existence
Bombard Your reactions with counters and deflections
Never cease to increase my arousal
The One poison injection, be boredom, that play thing in the bottom of the pile
Such a mass of toys collected through the Years of precise Deceptions
One must keep track of the nuances and truancies lead out of your Heart

Now then, will that outbound for confusion
I must entrain a trail of suspicion, for some where along this jaded path
For which You carried me, without even a sliver of conscious consequences

Of course You wanted it All,
And with a Flick of chosen Fingers
Beckon balloons pop, as You come tumbling after

Alone at Least
Until I Allow...

When absence times out

Only stay afar, to see when You may depart

The longer the wait, the longer the freight

upon my guilt...

On a bridge You sit shapeshifted and wait

while I stare from a distance

My feet cemented, my mind Demented

of thoughts for you...

...

Side to side you gaze in search

of My pupils that surround a glow green

Slowly and hesitantly you leave

Looking back over shoulder one last time

My reason, for such an act

would be to save You the sorrow of my ways

Your innocence, is what saved you

on that leaf dropping evening

As deviant my heart

somehow, some reason declared

a pinch of pain, was worth it...

Reasons to Keep You Longer...

in early morning

as you sleep

I stare at your face

and wonder why me

I blow at your nose

and you twitch

I tug at your lip

and you awake and smile

You asked me, "what are you doin?"

I say "Enjoying the moment..."

As you turn over

and fall back asleep

I reset the clock

For reasons to keep

You longer...

Only time for you is Precious

And for me to be at Fault

For now

All I have left is your anger

towards me,

- My only intent -

For reasons to keep

You longer...

On a fence

"on a fence" you sat

I stood between your legs

- we talked about nothing -

the sun would leave soon

and again we must part

to hold us over for next time

we caressed and touched our lips

I still have your scent upon my shirt for the walk home

and in my mind

your hair blows and glows, as I watch you disappear around the corner

but most of all, I still have the memory to last

I still visit the spot we said we would "see ya later"

Your vision still appears on the fence

but in reality, I know you are gone

well that "see ya later" will have to wait

for we know we will stay here forever "on a fence"

the most daunting feeling that lingers

is letting myself let you go...

to be continued...

Addiction Complete...

This one may hurt

As I spurt

My last regret...

Only needed your mind

To feed my Dark Desires

As We Conspire...

My insatiable Lust

To Thrust your Depths

Addiction Complete...

Madness and Tears

madness and tears drip

as I grip

your emotions...

Reasons blurred

and stirred

your emotions...

Clash of mental restrictions

Break us apart,

Our emotions...

Melt Within

in the tall grass we lay

NOT looking at the above

for the reflection in each other's eyes

shines brighter than the real...

Breeze causes you to sneeze

and make the face that

melts me within...

Worse Together

the greatest attempt we made

was to mend our ways

yet we feed on our destruction

better apart, worse together...

if fate and faith had their way

and words spoken on that day

we would have sealed our peace...

Smile Breaker

with a smile that breaks me
seems every time we meet
we start over and over
we follow each other, chase
we ignite, we fire, we fizzle...

Midnight Light

standing there in the distance, not sure if you are smiling
shivering and shaking, wet from the night rain
waiting for my arrival, alas you notice my presence...

street lamp reveals your glow and mine
walking through shadows and silence
soon our destination seeks our location...

to be continued...

Strong Scent

I smelt a smell that forced my memory into overdrive, today
Never has a memory been so strong
All my tingles and relapses on my spot...

How the way I thought as a child, and now to look back on those thoughts
Become increasingly both redundant and surprisingly superseding
Of the state in which I have conceived and concluded

To sit and strike a conversation  with my former self
Would cause irrelevant circumstances, as both collide with opinions
And most importantly, both would prove the impossible

As I often thought about myself in the future, now I am here
And remind myself of when and where I was...

A note to another Future, and one to Look back on this occasion


to be continued, for reference of looking back again...

Compression

You are Your Tears
that Taint my...

You are Your Fears
that Faint my...

And there for Compress
And there for Impress

My mind full of Memories

A Trail

Such a trail I leave for You
Catch me if you can
Scream more and struggle to win

Alas it has come this confrontational fit
Lay down this gauntlet and watch You
Sleeplessly stray sideways...

Sure I would rain pain upon Your heart
And Crush your spine with ease
But nothing more pleasurable than planting the seed of doubt
and watch You question your own existence...

Worst enemy is within, and this is a test
relate all these words, try to match them to You
Rise Your interest and begin contesting your beliefs
Challenge and Reason with yourself...

Give it all thought and come out numb

The more you convince Yourself, the deeper the hole
The Hole which will consume
Your opinion...

Combination of few

That room held a lot of memories
and a lot of trophies...

Skin upon Skin
We shall begin
Motion of Commotion
Entails...

All the same in the end
we ended up friends
some not more than others...

I am suppose to miss those thoughts
I am suppose to wish those again
I am suppose to forget, which would put an end
to the hunger of trying to figure out My inner...

Carry on as nothing was carried
Push forward into
Those words said, and unsaid
still remain...

Freedom Within

Melting mind of continuous complex
Randomly subjecting words and emotions
Finding ease and fast ways to complete a cycle...

Soon enough, many contributions will convey
Convey a pattern and system to these ramblings
One in the future may decipher and collect
A message and conclusion...

Or simply dismiss all alterations and a bounty

and yes it is true about what you think about
only need not explain your situations to those
in denial and ones that wallow in their own filth...

hard to boost this internal findings about and to others
when carefully choosing sentences for the masses
"he's gone mad" - nay - "little bit looney", I say...

which on occasion has been referred to as "Freedom Within"