Non Existing

You do not exist

For I have not created you yet...

If I would want

You could cure

So many have come close,

only to fail miserably

at the demands of my dementia...

With a multitude of thoughts

And a series of trails

One must recycle endlessly

You...

For Nothing more than a Memory

No matter how much an intention be

Your presence fades easily as it came

I will conclude without denial and sacrifice

Now continue to bleed and creed your stand

With all this turmoil and confusion

You retreat and deny

Too bent out of shape to give a concept of reality

"I am too confused to make up my mind"

All too eager to mend your ways of dealing

Better to dismiss than deal, easy way out

Only to bring you back to the battle of

existence...

Consume will they say

For yet I shall see

And delight in your mind

Rip and tear any and all beliefs far beyond your comprehension

disgusting...

   

Another moment

No I shall not give into your style

I am not here to amuse your adolescent ignorance and shallow opinions

Build up your walls as I have already crushed everyone with experience and repetition
Yet you continue to believe without consequences...

Bitter? No bitter than the scorned which could not hold a thought

Would not know happiness if it crept into every orifice of your mentality

Well the "one" does not exist for the reason of your infinite demands and limitations
Shall never find, as it was never was...

Such easy it is to not attempt or ignore
And wonder why your empty is never filled...

But most convincing of the lot
Is the ones that actually have no clue
Yet continue to dismiss the confusion
Only to be confronted with blatant excuses
Which of course only fuels your vicious cycle

Ah, such delight it is to generalize
Gets the hairs raised and self infecting giggles...

Red the red that fury blinds

Your presence seems to press my buttons

And my buttons be high

My presence seems to press your buttons

And your buttons be nigh

And so now are you suppose to be considered my ex

Since only for a bit we tangled and mangled our words

On a couch we cuddled and giggled about our success

Only to have it fade within days

Now we hold each other at length

Such a short bout it was and fast to conclude

So it was, what is was

A sparkle and flame, rose too high

And out of control, for both of us

Another story to keep and to use against

our "I told you so" mentality

But we did

"destroyed each other, and did not make history"...

Unspoken with those Walls

As we sit in a room, not a word spoken

emotional drips of tears, fade into the cloth

Your intentions are folded and creased with deceitful mutations

Now time passes, and creates a void within your existence

I shall pull every pain and gain within that pulsating gutter of whole

And without further notice and unsuspecting visuals claim your position

As I plant the seed of doubt, and watch it rapidly carousel through your thoughts

Little by little, leaving a trail of membranes of mortality soon to decay...

Pile Up

And alas, these thoughts have been piling up in this cranium of mine.
Seems they will either destroy my intentions or have forced themselves into this outlet.

Now on with the show:
first and foremost, would like to thank the many instances that have presented themselves with great accuracy and pin point deliberation.

No matter how hard I try, these misleading and totally understanding only within my membranes,  will break out and cling onto anything willing to give my shallow existence the time of day. Which of course only feeds my insatiable overthinking. 

I actually dislike to explain my explanations, seems only to dig a deeper hole in which many find their desires and fetishes. Sure I could just give them simple words and simple instructions. But that would seem to easy and almost deviant on my part.

Many more words to greet those wishing to find a concept or excuse to label the participate invalid.

Come, come and seek that missing piece. or better yet, sit on that side of the fence and throw projectiles of doubt and misery. for we all know, well not all, but most with the ability to see past their past.

Start, middle, end, give a clear path for to follow, make sense, or I shall enter the state of confusion.

Until next time...

Mental Stimulation

Such a battle to break those walls

Even when broken, victory seems bleak

For the treasure is not what was intended

Or give in to the next available with no standards

Seems like a likely route to avoid pain

Weakness You display, not a position on the podium 

Craving Mental Stimulation

For which one can not find

Easy enough task, but with a gesture of grotesque

to perceive one as a notable neglect

To constipated with emotional scars to express yourself

Or willing to let your potential position exceed with advance

Seek

Furiously Frustrated

for

Mental Stimulation

...

When absence times out

Only stay afar, to see when You may depart

The longer the wait, the longer the freight

upon my guilt...

On a bridge You sit shapeshifted and wait

while I stare from a distance

My feet cemented, my mind Demented

of thoughts for you...

...

Side to side you gaze in search

of My pupils that surround a glow green

Slowly and hesitantly you leave

Looking back over shoulder one last time

My reason, for such an act

would be to save You the sorrow of my ways

Your innocence, is what saved you

on that leaf dropping evening

As deviant my heart

somehow, some reason declared

a pinch of pain, was worth it...

On a fence

"on a fence" you sat

I stood between your legs

- we talked about nothing -

the sun would leave soon

and again we must part

to hold us over for next time

we caressed and touched our lips

I still have your scent upon my shirt for the walk home

and in my mind

your hair blows and glows, as I watch you disappear around the corner

but most of all, I still have the memory to last

I still visit the spot we said we would "see ya later"

Your vision still appears on the fence

but in reality, I know you are gone

well that "see ya later" will have to wait

for we know we will stay here forever "on a fence"

the most daunting feeling that lingers

is letting myself let you go...

to be continued...

Worse Together

the greatest attempt we made

was to mend our ways

yet we feed on our destruction

better apart, worse together...

if fate and faith had their way

and words spoken on that day

we would have sealed our peace...

Compression

You are Your Tears
that Taint my...

You are Your Fears
that Faint my...

And there for Compress
And there for Impress

My mind full of Memories

A Trail

Such a trail I leave for You
Catch me if you can
Scream more and struggle to win

Alas it has come this confrontational fit
Lay down this gauntlet and watch You
Sleeplessly stray sideways...

Sure I would rain pain upon Your heart
And Crush your spine with ease
But nothing more pleasurable than planting the seed of doubt
and watch You question your own existence...

Worst enemy is within, and this is a test
relate all these words, try to match them to You
Rise Your interest and begin contesting your beliefs
Challenge and Reason with yourself...

Give it all thought and come out numb

The more you convince Yourself, the deeper the hole
The Hole which will consume
Your opinion...

Freedom Within

Melting mind of continuous complex
Randomly subjecting words and emotions
Finding ease and fast ways to complete a cycle...

Soon enough, many contributions will convey
Convey a pattern and system to these ramblings
One in the future may decipher and collect
A message and conclusion...

Or simply dismiss all alterations and a bounty

and yes it is true about what you think about
only need not explain your situations to those
in denial and ones that wallow in their own filth...

hard to boost this internal findings about and to others
when carefully choosing sentences for the masses
"he's gone mad" - nay - "little bit looney", I say...

which on occasion has been referred to as "Freedom Within"

Cruel Intent:

Inside of you I seek inspiration
Inside of you I meek desperation

Screams of vibrating solace
Taunt old Memories to surface

Your intentions creep Slowly
Up and through my Lowly
Haunted Heart...

Say farewells or Good riddance

Your mind was feeble when I met You
Now feeding upon emptiness without Me
Ego made me do it, good thing I wasted mine a long time ago

Comfort comes so easy when in the moment
Gigantic gaps in memory fade certainty
Now with that out of the way
I must move on, without resources
Why must I remain, when numb of self destruction

Give this three, and a last verse
A gentle bow, and simple curve of motion
Tip of the hat, signals retreat...

Dream revisited:

in the snow we leave our tracks, I chase You and You giggle
in the snow we leave our history, I submit and You squiggle
out of my embrace, higher and higher you rise out of reach
and I continue to chase, without haste

Up to the stars you float away, and step by step I step
Suddenly on top a roller coaster we sit, roller coaster is made of candy canes and wheels of life savers, with a huge blast, down we go, very slow we stop, and I turn to touch your neck to give a peck

to be continued...

Little bit Darker? No?

To make matters worse
As I drag "you" from that Hearse

Bits and Pieces, left all alone
such a Vagrant drone
Come from our Hearts...

Deep within
We spin
Out of Control

Emotional dysthymia
Cured by a Breathing Kiss
delivers an utmost Bliss

but as "you" can see
that can not be

My dear Corpse...